


Get Rekt, Filbrick

by Underlander413



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: I really hate Filbrick, Short Chapters but Quality Content
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-01
Updated: 2017-07-12
Packaged: 2018-10-13 12:53:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 2,126
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10514169
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Underlander413/pseuds/Underlander413
Summary: A series of one shots about characters traveling back in time to beat up Filbrick Pines.





	1. Mabel

Stanley and Stanford Pines had seen a lot of strange things in their lives, but this was the first thing they couldn't explain. 

It was a sunny summer day in Glass Shard Beach, New Jersey, and the 12 year old twins were sorting items in their father's pawn shop when she walked in. A girl who was a few years older than them (14 or 15, maybe?) with brown hair and eyes. She was wearing a sweater (in this heat?) and had a strange curl in her hair that the twins could've sworn was the "Pines family hair curl", but that was impossible, right? She would have to be related to them, and they had never seen her in their lives. 

"Hey, are you Filbrick?" She asked their father. 

Filbrick nodded. "That would be me." 

"Can you come here for a second? Just on this side of the counter will do!" The girl requested. 

He rose an eyebrow, but the girl offered no further explanation, so he complied. Standing right in front of her, he asked, "So how can I help you?" 

"Oh, just... WAPOW!" The girls yelled, punching Filbrick in the gut. He doubled over in pain, and the she ran out of the small shop. 

"Did... did that just happen?" Stan asked. 

"I... think so," Ford said, although it sounded more like a question.


	2. Dipper

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Slight Journal 3 spoiler, but it's tiny.

It had been two days since a girl had come into Pines Pawns and punched their dad in the gut, and Stan and Ford couldn't really say they were angry. Their dad had had to close the shop for a few days, so the twins were able to work on the Stan-O-War. They were sitting inside it when a boy came up to them. He was wearing a blue jacket (not as bad as a sweater, but still, in this heat?) and he had a white and blue hat on his head with a blue pine tree on it. 

"Excuse me, but are you Stanley and Stanford Pines?" The boy asked, and the twins nodded. "Could you tell me where your family's shop is?" 

"You'll find it if you just keep going in that direction," Stan said, pointing. "But the shop's closed." 

"Oh, that's fine. I just need to talk to your father real quick. Thanks for the help," the boy said, walking off. 

Stan turned to his older twin. "Is it just me, or did he look like the girl who punched dad?" 

"It's not just you. Maybe we should follow him," Ford suggested. 

The two hopped out of their boat and went after the boy, staying far enough behind so he wouldn't notice them. When they got to the shop, the younger pair saw the boy try to open the locked door before taking a key out of his pocket and using it. The door unlocked, and the boy opened it and went in. 

"He can't have the key, right?" Stan asked. 

"No, but he got in anyway," said Ford. 

The two snuck up to the door and saw their father walking down the stairs. 

"Who are you, and how did you get in?" They heard him ask. 

The boy didn't answer, but instead took out a heavy looking book with a pine tree like the one on his hat on the front and smacked Filbrick with it hard enough to make him fall over. 

The twins ran to the corner and peaked out just as the boy came out and ran away. 

"What's happening?" Ford asked. 

"I don't know, but I think we're getting some more days off," Stan said.


	3. Soos

It had been a week since the boy had slapped their father with a book, and the twins were back to work in their father's shop. 

"I'm boooored," Stan complained. 

"So am I, but unless someone comes in and beats up dad again, we have to work," Ford told his brother, and as if on cue, a man walked into the shop. He was wearing a shirt with a question mark that seemed like it was melting at the edges on it. 

"Wow, cool shirt!" Stan said. 

The man turned to the twins. "Haha, thanks dude! Hey, are you Stan?" He asked. 

"That's me!" Stan said. 

"So I take it this little dude is Ford?" The man asked, nodding to the older twin. 

"Um, yeah that's me!" Ford replied. Just then, their father came out from the back room. 

"Can I help you?" Filbrick asked. 

The man wasted no time asking questions, and simply socked Filbrick in the jaw. 

"OUCH! WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING?" Filbrick yelled, as the other man ran out of the shop, shouting something that sounded like "For Stan!" 

Filbrick turned to demand the twins get him an ice pack, but they were already gone, running to the beach. 

"You know we're probably going to get in trouble for just running off," Ford said. 

"Whatever!" Stan replied, and both twins laughed.


	4. Wendy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone were to... I don't know... make art of this... I wouldn't mind... Just saying

It was the day after the man in the question mark t-shirt had punched their father, and Stan and Ford were cleaning the shop as punishment for running off. 

"I'm just saying," Stan said. "I could totally sell those t-shirts." 

"Maybe you could, but that t-shirt didn't look homemade, so the design is probably copyrighted," Ford said. 

"Yeah, but still," the younger twin said, chasing something from behind the counter outside. 

"Was that a rat?" Ford asked. 

"I don't know, but whatever it is, it's the neighbor's problem now," Stan said, shrugging. Just then, a girl walked in. She was wearing jeans, green flannel, and a hat that made it look like she should be in the woods and/or dying from heatstroke. 

"Hey lady, aren't you hot in that hat?" Stan asked. 

"Stan!" His brother hissed, elbowing him, but the girl just laughed. 

"Nah, I'm fine. You should see my friend, but I guess you already have..." She said, mumbling the last part. She then yelled, "HEY! FILBRICK!" 

The twins thought he would of learned by now, but sure enough, he appeared. "Can I help you?" He asked. 

With lightning speed, the girl round house kicked Filbrick hard enough for him to pass out. Then, without missing a beat, she took out an ax and chopped his hat, which had fallen onto the floor, clean in half. 

The boys gaped as the girl ran out, shouting something that sounded like "See you in a few decades!" 

"So... what now?" Ford asked. 

"Let's draw on his face!" Stan said, taking out a pen. 

"Great idea!" Ford said, and they got to work.


	5. McGucket

It had been two weeks since their father had last been beaten up by a stranger, and Stan and Ford were starting to get back into their usual work routine. It was late in the night-or maybe it was early in the morning, neither twin could tell-when they were awakened by a loud _CRASH_ from downstairs. 

"What was that?" Stan asked, but before Ford could say anything, there was a loud _BANG_ , and they heard someone yelling something about "The best friend I ever did have". 

Ford got up as Stan jumped down from the top bunk. "Come on, let's check it out!" Stan said. 

Running downstairs, they saw their father chasing a man around the dining table. The man had a long, white beard, and he was pretty fast for how old he was. He was wearing a brown hat, had what appeared to be a bandage stuck to his beard, and every few seconds, he would turn around and hit Filbrick with a wrench. 

"Dad's getting attacked again!" Ford exclaimed. 

"Yeah, and by a hillbilly!" Stan said. This seemed to alert the old man to their presence, and he gave their father one final smack with his wrench before running out, yelling something about his friend again. 

"Why does this keep happening?" Filbrick screamed, rubbing his head. 

"Hey dad..." Ford started. 

"Does this mean we have the day off tomorrow?" Stan finished. 

"Yeah, sure, whatever, just go back to your room," the man said. 

Half an hour later, the younger boy was fast asleep while the older one was thinking. 

_I wish I had a friend like that. Other than Stan, of course._ Ford thought before drifting off to sleep.


	6. Candy and Grenda

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, sorry this one took so long. Who should I do next?

The twins were walking home, arms full of groceries. 

"Why do we have to get the groceries?" Stan wonder aloud. 

Ford shrugged. "Someone has to." 

"But why can't Mom? Why's it always gotta be us?" Stan asked his brother. 

"You know why," Ford said. 

"Our cute baby faces might get us a discount," the two said in unison. 

Stan opened his mouth to ask a third question, but before he could, they heard shouting. 

"That came from our house!" Stan exclaimed. The two boys ran the rest of the way to the Pawn Shop's door. 

Inside the shop, a girl wearing a green striped shirt was sitting on top of another girl's shoulders. The second girl wore a shirt that had COOL written on it. The girl and green had what appeared to be forks taped to her fingers, which she was using to scratch at Filbrick. The girl in the COOL shirt was punching him in the gut. Both girls were shouting "take that!" repeatedly as the twin's father tried to find a way to escape without exposing himself to more punching and scratching. 

"WHO EVEN ARE YOU PEOPLE!?" Filbrick demanded. 

"We're good people!" Said COOL shirt. 

"Unlike you!" Said green shirt. 

With one final punch, Filbrick was sent over the counter. 

"Go go go!" Green shirt shouted, and COOL shirt obliged, running out the door, past Stan and Ford. 

The twins put the groceries onto the counter before going behind it. 

"Is...is he okay?" Stan asked. "He's not moving..." 

Ford checked Filbrick's pulse. "He's fine," the older twin concluded. "He's just passed out." 

Stan shrugged. "He'll probably wake up soon," he said. "Let's take these groceries to the kitchen." 

"Yeah, okay," Ford said, as the two headed towards the kitchen. 

"Ya know..." Stan started after putting the groceries away. "I bet the way that girl had those forks taped to her fingers would be a really good way to eat a lot of things at once." 

"You're probably right," Ford said. "We should test that theory." 

"Way ahead of ya poindexter," Stan said, taking out some food. "Way ahead of ya."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, sorry this took so long, really hope you liked it!


	7. Waddles and Gompers

It had been a long day. Less than twenty four hours ago, the twins had dragged themselves out of bed for the first day of school. When they came back home, they had expected their father to shove brooms into their hands and tell them to get to work. 

Needless to say, that did not happen. At all. 

Instead, the young Pines were met with their father on the floor, unconscious, with a pig eating his shirt while a goat ate his pants. 

The boys were lost for words. 

Eventually, the animals finished their "meal" and the pig hopped onto some strange wheeled device. The goat got on behind it. 

The pig tapped his little feet against the device, and a voice said, "See ya later, boys!" The device drove out the door and down the street. 

"What just happened?" Stan asked. 

"I don't know?" Ford said, but it sounded more like a question. 

The Pines twins would find themselves remembering this and asking the same questions for years to come.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why did Waddles have the device from "Abaconings"? I dunno lol.


	8. Suprise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for not updating for so long. I've got no excuse, but this is the best thing I've ever written.

Stan and Ford were walking home after school. 

"It just doesn't make any sense," Stan said to his brother. "Why would a teacher need to-" 

"What is that?" Ford asked, cutting his twin off. Stan followed Ford's pointer finger to something in front of the pawn shop. "It looks kinda like a news truck." 

"Well, only one way to find out," Stan said, walking forward. 

By the time the two brothers reached the strange object in front of their house, it became clear that it was not a news truck, but a cardboard cutout of a news truck. 

"What the...wait," Ford said. "Do you hear something inside?" 

The twins opened the door to the shop just in time to see a short man with the strangest hair they had ever seen throw something at their father. 

"Get rekt!" The man exclaimed, running between the brothers, out the door, and down the street. 

"What did he just throw at dad?" Ford wondered. 

Stan walked over to their now unconscious father and crouched down. "It looks like... a cinder block painted to look like a camera," he said. 

The two looked at each other for a few seconds before shrugging simultaneously. 

"What can you do?" Stan asked, as if that was a question that would be asked in such a situation. 

Ford nodded. "Agreed."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The whole town views Stan as a hero now so they all want revenge. That is my justification for this.


End file.
